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Monday, March 26, 2012

Enough with the opinions

This is my frustration post, you really don't have to read it.

So lately I've noticed, and been subjected to, this horrible trend where women (and men actually) criticize other women about everything to do with having a baby.  Honestly, I ask who I ask for advice (usually my sister because she's raising 3 amazing girls) and don't want any more, or any bad looks when I say how I raise Michael.

To all you criticizers:

Do I breastfeed? Yes

Do I like it? No. I hate it.  I want to quit breastfeeding, I've wanted to since Michael was 3 weeks old when I realized his NICU stay had damaging effects.  He just doesn't get it, which is understandable when he was given a bottle because of his blood sugar.  I would wean but I can't.  He did well on formula at first but when he turned 2 1/2 months he started rejecting it, he wouldn't sleep if he had it, and he spits it up like crazy.

I had an epidural.  I wanted to try going natural to try it, but I didn't care when I didn't get there.

Do we lose sleep?  Only if we choose to.  Michael decides when he sleeps through the night.  He has spurts where he will.  We have the opportunity to get sleep, but we don't always take advantage of it.

Do we feel guilty being on WIC?  No, so shove it!  Most college students and single moms are (everyone I know up here with a baby is).  We got it when Michael was still taking some formula at the beginning of the semester.  But I enjoy getting decent food without freaking out that I spent more than $20 on groceries so we kept it.

Does Michael watch TV?  Yes, about a half hour to an hour a day.  Usually half of that is baby einstein or sesame street.  Do I feel guilty, NO!  First, I need to eat sometimes, and this is the only way I get to eat breakfast and lunch.  Second, he enjoys it!  He loves it, sometimes it's more visual stimulation than a walk or toys give him.  Third, am I scared that it will cause ADD or ADHD?  No.  When Michael is a little older and can play with more toys he won't watch TV nearly as much.  For the time being he doesn't understand what most of his toys do.

Have I lost the pregnancy weight?  NOOOO! I still have 15 lbs to go and Michael is 4 1/2 months.  Do I feel fat, everyday.  Do I work out, not often.  It's a little difficult when Josh gets home at 9 and we eat dinner.  I could do more, but honestly I'd rather do some homework/let Josh study.

Why isn't Michael wearing hats when I take him for walks?  His head's too big for newborn and too little for his summer hat.  Don't worry, I slather him with sunscreen, I know he got my husbands ultra white skin!

When are we having another baby?  When we are either prompted, or think we should.  Could this mean we get pregnant sometime in the next year....probably.  Does this mean I'm pregnant now, no.

Do I understand everything you went through during labor?  No.  I didn't have a difficult labor, in fact it was rather peachy, remember I got an epidural.  I also had a small baby, which wasn't so great when he had blood sugar issues.  But, I had a crazy pregnancy.  Doctors told me to do the opposite of each other, which is awesome when you see 5 doctors throughout your pregnancy.  So no, I don't understand crazy deliveries, but you might not understand being completely stressed out when no one has, or is willing to give you, a straight answer.

The worst one ever, do I regret having Michael?  No.  Never.  So excuse me when I get upset when I hear things about how I shouldn't have had him so young or when we were in school.  I never realized how much I needed this boy until he came.  Josh and I are extremely happy to have him and would never give it up.  No if's, and's, or but's.


Unfortunately the people that have made me angry enough to post this probably won't ever see it.  I just needed to get out weeks worth of built up frustration.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, hon! Sometimes people criticize or question the way others raise their kids, and usually it's because they feel insecure about their own parenting abilities. Or, they simply don't have kids yet and have NO clue what they're talking about. Don't listen to them, and don't feel like you have to justify yourself.

    Did I like breastfeeding? No, but I preferred it to making and cleaning bottles, so I dealt with it. Do my kids watch too much TV? Yes, but I need some time to myself. Do I care about what everyone else thinks about my parenting skills? Honestly, I do a little, but... I just do the best that I can. And that's all you can do, too. Don't let anyone get you down, okay?

    I think you're a great mom!

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  2. OH my goodness. I'm totally with you. I don't even have a baby and I rant about these things ALL of the time. Just ask Jayson. He will tell you.

    The breastfeeding/epidural comments get me the most. and c-sections. I just feel like there's too much judging that goes on about all of those things you mentioned.

    Also people asking me when I'm going to have a baby is one of my pet peeves. I don't know a single person who likes being asked that question. It's a pretty personal decision, so I'm not really sure why people ask all of the time.

    I don't think you're dumb for having a baby when you're young. I think that the right time to have a baby is different for everyone. I think a lot of times when someone's right time is different than their own they think it's wrong, but it's really just different.

    I think you're an excellent mom!

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