The Bad Parent...

Today is one of those days when I really feel like a bad parent...and it's not even 8am.  Where do I begin this post?

I guess first off would be that Michael woke up a few times in the night, and then went back to sleep on his own.  Then he woke up an hour before usual and wanted a bottle.  I fed him and put him back down.  When he woke up a half hour later I tried to make him cry it out for a while, but that didn't help.  I finally went and got him and he was screaming and thrashing at everything I did.  I tried to hold him, to play with him, to give him a little medicine (since he might have the head aches I have from the flu shot we got), and nothing worked.  I changed his diaper while he thrashed and kicked and screamed.  I put him in his crib and left the room.  Luckily he fell back asleep 5 minutes later.

Then I get online to see what's going on.  Turns out this is normal, he is just having a temper tantrum.  I didn't think these would start for a few more months, but they can start as early as 12 months.

What made it worse: on the same page it talked about how kids might wake frequently because 13-15 months is when they start dreaming more, and when dreams start affecting them.  Well there are two problems solved.  It just took some mommy guilt for me to realize that this was what was going on (shouldn't this stuff be more obvious?).

Then I look at developmental stuff.  In some ways Michael is way ahead of others (the tantrums aren't listed as normal until 16 months, and he is pretty good at playing with small objects), but in other ways I feel like he is so behind.  Part of that is because he is the oldest and doesn't have as much social interaction with other babies.  Some of it is because I'll sit and talk to him, but I don't spend hours reciting colors or body parts or animals in a book.  So that brought on some mommy guilt.

I started looking around the website a little more for other things that I've been out of the loop on. #1 is brushing his teeth.  I can start doing that now, and I had no idea.  He probably needs it, he has serious cheerio breath.  I probably won't take him to the dentist until he's 18 months-2, but I should be brushing his teeth.  How hard is it to brush 8 teeth?  As long as he isn't thrashing about like he was this morning!

I've been hit with tons of mommy guilt and feeling like a bad parent this morning.  No, I'm not looking for pity, I just need to get my frustration out.  Sometimes I really wonder if I'll ever get the hang of this parenting thing.  Right now I'm really frustrated!  I told Josh the other day that while Michael is adorable and so happy and sweet, this is my least favorite stage of parenting.  He looked at me and said it was his favorite and that I was crazy.  Maybe I'll enjoy it more when I can figure things out on my own instead of parenting websites.


Again, I didn't post a picture.  Sorry if my blog is starting to look really boring!  It is only 8am, and you don't want to see what Michael or I look like right now!