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Monday, December 24, 2012

Blessing or Trial?

I haven't been very festive this year.  In fact, a part of me was ready to forget this holiday.  If it wasn't for Michael I would have told Josh to skip Christmas (I think he would've agreed if I would have promised him an iPad for his birthday).  At first I thought it was because I've been sick for most of the month.  It started with a cold, then a stomach flu that didn't go away very fast, and now a head cold that has left me with migraines and an empty tylenol bottle.  The other day it dawned on me that being sick has nothing to do with it.  It has to do with a lot of things going on in my life right now.

I used to believe that if something came to you, something good and needed (or wanted), it was a blessing.  I've come to realize that isn't true at all.  It isn't always a blessing, it can be a trial.  Maybe it's a trial disguised as a blessing, or a blessing that led to many, many trials.  Right now I feel like I'm going through one of the two.  What I once thought of as a blessing has become a trial.  Correction, many, many trials.

It's Christmas and I'd rather not get into details about it, but it has been very wearing on me, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.  I can't get through the day without thinking about it, and some days I don't want to get out of bed because of it.  Now I'm left to examine how all of this happened and what to do from here.

Has anyone else felt like this?  That what they once thought was a blessing has become a trial?
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  1. KarissaJanuary 4, 2013 at 7:18 PM

    I'm sorry dear! I think blessings and trials go hand in hand. Someone once told me that nothing is ever 100 percent good or 100 percent bad and I think that's completely true. Trials come with our blessings and sometimes trials become our blessings. I guess it's just what we learn from it all and how we handle things that's what is really important. I guess it's just being able to be greatful for the good parts and take the trials with patience. Easier said that done for sure. I hope everything works out for you and that you can figure everything out.

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